Big Boob Fakery

I realize this is not exactly the deepest of subjects, but that doesn’t mean you don’t necessarily want to have big jugs every so often. Personally I love being thought of as a warm, kind, fun nerd while occasionally looking like a porn star. I’m complicated like that. Admit it. You have those days. Here’s what to do about them, no surgery required.

Before.

The biggest most awesome godsend ever in the realm of big boobage is the double pushup bra from La Senza. I was there looking for something that would give me awesome cleavage as usual, while also knowing that I was going to need to step it up if I was going to fill out my amply cut pinup dresses from PUG. Yes, dresses are easy, but these ones do often offer that particular challenge. And I’m too lazy to go to a tailor. So to fill them out, I needed bigger boobs. Great solution! Heh… Well I did find this bra, which took me from a C to a DD. You don’t need to stuff, you don’t need to wear multiple bras, none of that crap. Just a double pushup. There’s about 80% of your battle right there. Just don’t let it cause another battle – getting too used to it. I swear I have never felt the least bit insecure about myself until I got this bra. Taking it off was disappointing to say the least.

The second point is a tiny one. V-necks will enhance your cleavage. Moving on…

Now the real magic. I learned this tip while watching a drag queen on Maury. I have classy taste like that. Whatever, it was like a million years ago before every episode was about who the baby daddy is. This is what I teach everybody who asks me why my boobs look like THAT, even if they at least appear to be the same size as the person asking. All it is, is enhancing the natural shadow of your cleavage with bronzer and a shading brush. Then for extra pop, highlight the collar bone and tops of your boobs with highlighter or pale pearlescent shadow. This trick is actually used in photo shop as well. It’s too easy, and I’ve really enjoyed seeing girls’ faces as they’ve looked in the mirror while doing this. It really does make an incredible difference.

After...Goddamn!

After…Goddamn!

So if I’m asked if my boobs are fake, I say they’re real (technically) and they’re spectacular (completely). And I share, because I don’t take myself so seriously as to pretend I actually look like this rolling out of bed. Sharing is nice. We should do that more often.

POW!

POW!

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