Big Boob Fakery and my first attempt at Youtube

You may remember a post I wrote a long time ago called Big Boob Fakery. Well… everything I wrote was a long time ago. So I figured it was time to freshen up my approach. I just made my first youtube video, a video version of Big Boob Fakery, and it’s hilarious in it’s amateurishness. Here’s to learning and growing and trying new things!

My super simple super awesome skincare routine

I’ve never had the best skin. Adult acne has always been a thing for me, and it’s just so damn sensitive I get a rash when almost anything touches it. But lately I’m seeing some real improvement. It’s clearer and more even-toned than it’s been since before I hit puberty, and damn, it’s so bright! And this routine is why. Going simple and natural on my hair was one of the best things I ever did, so of course it stands to reason that this approach would be great on my skin too. So here it is, and it’s nothing but oil and vinegar.

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A completely makeup-free selfie. Not something I’d have done before.

  1. Wet face
  2. Oil cleanse. Drying out your skin causes it to freak out and produce more oil to compensate, so working in a good oil calms this down. So now you still have oil on your face, but instead of greasy zit-causing oil it’s really good, clean, softness causing oil. Just make sure the oil you pick is non-comedogenic. I’m in love with jojoba. Stay away from coconut (at least on your face).
  3. I scrub this off with a microfiber cloth. Mine is the Makeup Eraser.
  4. Tone. Interestingly enough, the best toner I know of is diluted organic apple cider vinegar. This is the exact same stuff I use on my hair, and my ratio is about 1:4 with water. I don’t want to get into this whole science-y description of why, but the short of it is that it has a PH level close to that of your skin, protects the acid mantle, and is natural anti-bacterial goodness. Look it up.
  5. Gently pat dry.
  6. A little more jojoba oil to act as a moisturizer.
  7. Struggle not to touch your face because OMG it’s so soft!!

So there you go. If your skin is troublesome and you don’t want to get too complicated or expensive with your skincare routine, give this a go.

Androgynous Style

Whether you’re agender, third gender, both genders, or just looking to explore new style territory, androgynous style can be a challenge. But for women, this can be easier to pull off for than for men. Not that men should ever be concerned about what others think either! And while this post is primarily geared towards bio-women, bio-men may find something useful in this as well. Androgyny is for everyone after all. Now, I’ve come to understand that those who really aren’t looking for a feminine style tend to dress a little… lazy. I don’t mean this as a judgement. But when you’re unsure or just a little apathetic, jeans and tshirts can get you into a bit of a rut. Here are some fresh ideas, along with some basics for those looking to try this out for the first time.

First of all, the most important thing I think to ask yourself is – What elements of my current style would I keep if I suddenly woke up in a man’s (or woman’s) body? Even if your answer includes dresses and skirts, these things are part of your style that really fit you and represent who you are. Keep them, no matter how girly (or masculine) they may be. Your answer to this may change day to day and that’s ok too. I know for a fact that if I was a dude I would totally still rock long pointed nails, though I may be more bothered by it when a fresh dye-job stains them pink. Also not such a great idea for job interviews.

Clothes. While I still recommend clothing made for women as they’re tailored to the shape of your body, we’re lucky that unlike it was in the past, it’s easy to find women’s clothes that are inspired by menswear. There are also varying degrees of this and in various styles. We can easily find traditional and edgy suits, boyfriend jeans, and unisex items like tshirts and sweaters, and button downs in any store. Trench coats and pea coats are universally flattering. For underneath, minimizing bras and shapewear for the hips will help streamline those curves, should you so desire.

Accessories. You might not want to wear a tie in the traditional way, but have you thought about wearing one as a belt? Sweater vests look awesome on anyone, and while you may want to skip jewelry altogether, keeping things basic or edgy is a way to make it work with this style. Unisex perfume is available at various shops such as Goth Rosary. Newsboy hats are adorable and dapper. And call me a hipster, but I love pocket watches. I’ve also been known to wear a black underbust corset (of course) in the style of a waistcoat. For many of us, ditching a bag isn’t an option, but you don’t have to carry a traditional purse. Book bags and laptop bags can be carried by anyone. My own favorites are messenger bags because I can wear them instead of carrying them and they’re big enough for my books and all the garbage that eventually piles up inside. These bags also tend to appear much more simple and casual than girly. My new one has a ouija board design.

Hair. You don’t have to get a pixie cut, though I have to say this is gorgeous. Women don’t have a monopoly on long hair, so keep that in mind. For style, simple and natural does the trick. If you like curling your hair, go for tousled waves over perfect ringlets. Bed-head, slicked back, a classic low ponytail or just regular ol’ down are easy. Some other fun options are a pompadour with a ponytail or french twist, or hidden under a hat. If you have long hair and want to fake a cut, sweep your hair back and over your head so that the ends fall down your forehead like bangs. Use a firm headband to hold this in place. Then hide the the majority of it with a hat, and style the front however you like, such as side-swept, bed-head, or spikey. For color consider going all natural, super natural-looking, or try bright and fun colors like blue and green. I’d stay away from natural colors in unnatural shades, like the type of thing you get with brands like Feria.

Makeup. Of course, skipping makeup altogether is the most obvious option, but some of us just aren’t that brave or laid back. To bring out your best without obviously having anything on, try BB cream or a light foundation, translucent powder, and some light bronzer on your temples and under your cheek bones for dimension and contouring. If a more obvious look is more your style, try a bold eye in a neutral color like black or grey, and keep lips looking more natural with a clear or neutral lip balm.

While there’s plenty other info out there on feminine looks inspired by men, there’s an unfortunate lack for those who just want to appear truly androgynous. So if you have any ideas or tips to share please comment or share some pics! Let’s brainstorm this up.

The All Natural Face – Cleanser & Makeup Remover

While I don’t have any issues with the food chain itself per se, I do have an issue with animal cruelty, and I find it especially unnecessary when it comes to our appearance. So for this reason and because I’ve been gradually switching to a more earth-friendly lifestyle, I was excited to try out a few vegan products from The All Natural Face.

I have extremely sensitive skin, and I have to tell you, a bonus of not cleansing with chemical detergents means it’s not being irritated for the first time in about 15 years. My face isn’t getting puffy and red when I wash it, and this is so unusual to me I almost doubt whether it’s actually clean. I had no idea I was even doing anything wrong before until I switched. I always thought my skin was bad, and it turns out it probably isn’t. It’s just that my “gentle” commercial cleansers still weren’t gentle enough. Because as soon as I stopped, well holy crap, everything started getting back in order.

I didn’t need any new makeup when I first started browsing, but I was determined to switch to a natural cleanser (I used castile soap to great effect until this arrived), so I bought the Luscious Lavender Facial Cleanser and Makeup Remover and Oil Makeup Remover Pads. All the products from this company are extremely affordable at about the same or less than what you would pay in a drug store, shipping is so cheap you’ll think there was a glitch, and anything that comes in a container can be purchased as a refill instead of an entirely new item. It’s generally assumed that truly all-natural products are expensive, but this isn’t at all the case here.

The cleanser smells and looks a lot like yogurt. And it feels like yogurt too. It doesn’t lather at all like a traditional cleanser, so this is a bit weird and takes some getting used to. But unlike actually attempting to use food to wash your face, it works amazingly well. With my old cleanser I always had to rub my eyes really hard to get my makeup off, but this takes very little effort. Afterwards my face feels super clean but with no tightness or residue. It’s just pure, clean skin. And my eyes don’t sting from it either! Great stuff!

The oil pads have no scent at all, and are very small. I was concerned that they wouldn’t be enough to clean my whole face. I use both sides, but I don’t quite need two. If you need a second, the low price should keep you from being too concerned. One big difference between these cleansing pads and what you may be used to is that they don’t clean with your idea of a traditional cleanser but with a mixture of different plant oils. It does make your face oily, but it’s not in a bad way. It’s a nice moisturizing kind of oil, and you just give it a quick rinse afterwards. It leaves my skin feeling really nicely moisturized, and that really is a first. Over time I’m even noticing that I’m waking up much less greasy than I used to. The reason for this is when you use oils on your face that mimic your skin’s natural oils, it no longer feels the need to produce more to compensate from any drying you may have done to it from regular soap. So even though the oil is another thing to get used to, it’s still totally worth it in the end.

For stuff that works this well, for less than I would pay at Walmart even after shipping, this stuff is winning all the way. And after only two weeks of use, my skin looks a lot better. If I had to run out of the house without makeup on, I wouldn’t be all that embarrassed anymore. And when I run out of any makeup items I have I’m going to give this brand a try for that, too. Who knows how great I’ll look then. And besides, karma looks great on everybody.

It’s Nice Not to Wear Makeup Sometimes

Some of my most vivid childhood memories involve me standing in the hallway outside the bathroom doorway, looking up at my mom as she did her makeup every day. It was the 80s, so the colors she used were bright; I distinctly remember fuschia and royal blue. I associate a lot about appearances with my mom. She has a very low self-esteem (I recently told her I liked her hair as it was growing longer, and she responded by saying she felt like a cow), was worried about how we made her look as kids, and threatened (probably not 100% seriously) to not let me walk in her wedding when I had a big zit when I was 11. I remember how deeply humiliating it was for her and her friend to spend so long fussing over it trying to pop it and make it go away. I didn’t think it should matter, I mean was it REALLY that big a deal? I’m your own family, Mom! But whether consciously or because she was just unknowingly perpetuating the pressures she felt growing up herself, one of the lessons she worked hard to teach me was that looks were Very Important.

School didn’t help either. I wore hand-me-downs and got made fun of constantly. I didn’t agree with their judgments  honestly, I think I was probably mentally healthier as a kid than I am now, but I was sick and tired of it enough that before 7th grade rolled around I was trying very hard to choose clothes that they couldn’t tease me for, and the All Black Era was ushered in. Then the teenage angst kicked in, and I specifically recall that unlike being an adult and sighing wistfully at a magazine ad thinking how nice it would be to look like that model, you wouldn’t just like to look that way, you think you NEED to look that way. These women are *everything* and you are *nothing.* Everything is a bigger deal when you’re younger.

But what happens when you grow up? You don’t take it quite as seriously – you at least become aware on a logical level that perfection isn’t even a thing, if not on an emotional one. But old habits die hard, especially when we’re surrounded by the same pressures we always were. And it’s that divide between logical and emotional that often needs to be addressed. I believe in taking pride in yourself and not being just gratuitously gross, but what’s all that gross about a natural face on an ordinary day? This sort of cultural assumption that it is is a big problem.

So I think it would be fantastic if every so often we could take a break from makeup to just plain get over ourselves. On days I’ve worn little enough that people at least thought I wasn’t wearing any, nobody died, or even insulted me. One day I even got a very nice and deliberate compliment from a coworker. Of course, I was not literally without makeup, I’m not there yet. But part of the reason for that is that I don’t like my skin, and one way to get better skin is to stop putting so much shit all over it. So stepping out of my comfort zone could have multiple benefits.

I think makeup is one really great method of artistic expression and some women really enjoy it. Sometimes I’m one of them. But when it becomes more of a chore than a joy, a feeling of obligation more than enhancement, then we need to take a step back a bit and put makeup in its place. We own it, it doesn’t own us. And the more we’re willing to let go the easier it will be for us to realize it.

And if anyone has any advice on helping my mom with her self-esteem, that would be great too.

Some Fabulous For Your Hands

Sometimes I can be trendy. I know, it surprises me too. And this post doesn’t have much of a point besides allowing me to gush about my two favorite things today, nude nail polish and my super kickass knuckle clutch.

I first saw this clutch not too long ago in Vegas. It had brass knuckles that looked like gorgeously gaudy jeweled skull rings, and lots of bling. It seemed like the kind of thing Lady Gaga would have, or some incredibly fashionable movie badass.

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I was kind of (ie very) drunk at that particular moment, so my picture-taking hand was less than steady. Nevertheless, can you imagine anything sexier?

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But I couldn’t really afford it, I mean there was a ton of shopping still to be done back at the Orleans. So I tore myself away.

Well guess what, bitches? One of the awesome ladies I was traveling with remembered my fondness for this thing, and let me know a couple weeks later about a sale going on at a local shop that sold them. And so behold!

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She is mine! And I couldn’t possibly be happier. These clutches are everywhere this season, and as far as google tells me, are inspired by clutches designed by Alexander McQueen. The real thing can cost up to $4000, but this looks about the same. Pictures don’t do it justice, this thing is sparkly. Now I can look great and beat up anybody who tries to rob me. What a perfect combo.

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A couple of Alexander McQueen’s insanely gorgeous designs

But wait, let me add to that. My nails were painted a subtle gold and were a little streaky, with some ever so slight hair dye stains. So I thought I would redo them. I was going to do a nude base before redoing the gold, because the gel I have is a bit on the pink side. But when I saw the nude color alone…

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Well now I know why this too is so popular this spring. I think this is to die for, and I think I’ll keep it for a long time. Because my nails are long and pointy I don’t feel that dark colors are very agreeable on them, after all I’m not in music videos. And I’ve never been much of a dark nail color person anyway. But there’s something about this subtle color which is still very edgy. I used Sally Hansen Smooth and Perfect in Dune, and the brush really does allow you to put this on with no streaks at all. It’s pretty amazing. So put that all together and…’

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What do you think? I also really love the look of those nail polish strips with the fishnet design. That would be awesome. I’d say my hands are looking mighty fabulous this spring, wouldn’t you?

Bonus Post – My New Hair Cut & More Raves About Goth Rosary

On Monday my friend and hair stylist Holly Hui was nice enough to come to my house to give me a hair cut. I’m still loyal to the middy, but in order to experiment a little more with classic styles I went quite a bit shorter than I’m used to. My long hair looks have a tendency to fall apart a bit when I’m trying any sort of specific shape, even with tons of hairspray.  I’m a tough case when it comes to hair because I like everything, which means I can never make up my mind and once I do the grass is always greener. In this case, it’s too short for me to like it as much as I did when it’s straight, though that’s just my taste and it still looks great, however it is so beautiful when it’s curled. With this length I can accomplish a classic page boy like Dita, but more often than not I’ll make it the big messy luxurious white girl fro that I love. And that’s so easy now, because nothing is weighing it down! These pictures are half so I can document how my hair reacts to different types of curls, and half for YOU to see the same, because I know a lot of vintage-lovers are always looking for more middy pictures, including me.

So the cut. This is not cut to the diagram. I honestly don’t think it’s necessary, even in the actual 40s I’m sure they just understood it and went from there based on the person’s face, head, and preferences. I would venture to say this is about 10 inches long overall (from what I understand it’s Rita Hayworth length, but it’s still longer than any official diagram). The cut is layered horizontally and fairly uniformly, cut blunt, so no feathering/texturing/what have you at all, and is U-shaped at the bottom so the layers frame the face. My hair is very straight and fine, and these pictures involve NO product whatsoever as per my normal routine.

I’ll save you the picture of it straight for now because I look sickly and miserable in it and it’s pretty much the worst picture ever. I’ll take a better one later.

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This is hot rollers, all rolled under. I did this right after the cut. I have to try everything when I get a hair cut because I’m so curious about what it will do. My head looks huge haha. This is lovely.

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Hot rollers loosening up. Still great.

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Before I re-washed, because it felt a bit greasy as though I didn’t do it right the first time. Know what I mean? Actually it still kind of feels like that. But this is awesome, I love this.

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Pillow rollers. Neat, but not totally my taste. I promise I’m not about to cry here lol I’m a weird picture taker. I’ll keep this style in mind for certain adventures in modeling.

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Pillow rollers after falling throughout the day. Totally cute! I tied a ribbon around it here, it’s very Snow White.

IMG_1218I tried a tutorial I found on Classic Retro Glam’s Youtube channel. Normally these tutorials drive me insane because I’ll love it, run to my dressing room to do it, and fail repeatedly. This one I got right away, and it’s beautiful. YES!!

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Another angle. None of these are great because I had to take them myself and I had no idea where the camera was pointing.IMG_1226

The big curly white girl fro of sorts. My hair always looks its best right before I go to bed. And it seems I’ve once again subjected you to pictures of me in my underwear. Sorry.

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Aaaand today, after being set in large dry pin curls overnight to preserve some of yesterday’s curl. The top just needs some fluffing. I have also put clothes back on.

Now how exactly can I get it to look this way on day one?? Tell me please!

Also today, besides my hair looking totally boss, I got another package from Goth Rosary. The owner has been having some medical issues so the site was down for months, but I’m happy to inform you that it’s back up. I don’t know what I would do without this perfume. It’s wonderful. I ordered Samhain (everyone’s favorite. I mean everyone) and Fairy Wings for my mom. She’s very allergic to perfume, but she can stick her nose right in the bottle and it doesn’t bother her, so that’s saying something. Fairy Wings reminds me of a mix of Fantasy and Midnight Fantasy. I can’t smell the cucumber personally, but lots of sweet berries. It’s really delightful, I’m going to order some for myself next time. This time I got myself Gothic Rose. It’s a true deep red rose scent, untainted by alcohol. Mike says it smells like soap though, I guess because a lot of soap is rose-scented. It’s thus a little more commercial than their other offerings, but I like it a lot. This one lasts a very long time too, I can still smell it on myself without even trying. Or maybe I just used too much lol. I also got a sample vial of Black Wings, which is beautiful and very masculine, so I’ll be including some for Mike on my next order. I recommend that if you’re not in the US you go in on your orders with a friend or two; shipping is a bit of a bitch.

Until Monday!