These Aliexpress Wig Ads are Pretty Funny

Even as adults, we all go through phases. And ever since my mom showed me her massive wig collection from Aliexpress, I’ve been corrupted. Hers weren’t my style at all, but when she told me how cheap they were I went on a shopping spree and still haven’t stopped. But as I sit here at 3am browsing through pages of wigs in all lengths and colors, I’m coming across some ads that are kind of funny, or just strange. Maybe it’s just that something has been lost in translation? Have a look for yourself.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 1.52.38 AMI have no idea what’s going on with that little hat. Was somebody trying to show off their mad photoshop skills?

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.21.56 AMThis Elsa wig is literally a drawing.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.32.19 AMHey I got my kids’ soccer practice right now but we should totally hook up later.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.46.48 AMIt looks like they’re trying to protect this wig’s identity. I don’t understand.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.22.45 AMSpeaking of censorship, is this mannequin’s mouth doing something we’re not supposed to see?

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.40.12 AMI can’t even guess what this mannequin’s neck is doing, but it must be filthy.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 5.05.38 AM

These pigtails are tied with dicks. For some reason.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.49.48 AMIt’s nice to finally see a shopping site acknowledging a man’s right to wear really girly hair.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.50.37 AMI think they need to get their eyes checked, or I do. Nevertheless, I bought this one.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.39.28 AMIf green is now pink, straight is now curly.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.59.19 AMPro tip: Don’t buy your mom a wig labelled for “old women.”

Anyway, I haven’t been gone, I’ve just been silent. If you’ve missed me in the meantime, feel free to check out my new twitter page @TheAvaStrange. Until next time!

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Updates!

The Beehive – Easy Updo Version

Remember my first beehive tutorial? It wasn’t bad, pretty easy. But I found something even easier, that is if you want an updo version. This thing is totally idiot-proof. First separate the front of your hair from ear to ear. With the rest of it make a high ponytail where you want the beehive to sit. 90% of the time this will be at the crown. Then backcomb the living shit out of that ponytail. It helps to do it in small sections. Make a big scary mess of it. Then very gently smooth it out and pin, just enough so you have no big weird lumps or hanging bits. Lightly backcomb the back of the section you separated just enough for it not to separate, and gently cover your poof ball and pin, and tuck in the ends. You are done. This takes under 10 minutes and can easily last 2-3 days straight, even with very minimal hairspray. I mean you can literally sleep on it and wake up with your hair still done. The above picture is the second day of my second time doing it, and I had just cleaned up the front a bit.
Root Touch-Up

You know what Root Touch-Up is? It’s a fraction of the dye for the same price as a regular box, but you get a shitty little brush and tiny plastic container. Skip it. Wait until you see a 2-for-1 deal and get two (or four) boxes of totally regular dye. I like Garnier and Superior Preference. Then you get a tint brush for 2$ and line a bowl with saran wrap. Pour a little of each bottle from a box into the bowl – I don’t know the exact ratio so I just aim for 50-50 and it seems to work – just what you’re going to use, and leave the rest in the bottles. Dye with developer like this expires within the hour if you mix it, but if you only mix what you need then you can keep the rest until next time. You can get 2-3 uses out of a full box this way. It makes doing your roots a lot cheaper, and you’ll usually already have some dye around so it’ll also be less of a chore. Hell, I don’t even use gloves.

Blending Bangs

If you’re growing out bangs, or you just prefer them a bit on the longer side, it can be tricky knowing how to deal with them so they look nice and don’t hang in your eyes. I’ve personally found that tip-of-the-nose length is the most versatile as far as style, however you MUST do something or they’re annoying as hell. You can curl them softly with a little flat iron for casual side bangs (below, very gently curled. You can also curl them more of course), use standing pin curls away from your part to blend them in when you’re curling the rest of your hair, or use some pomade or gel and brush them to the side when your hair is straight. You might need a pin for this. You can also do a little pomp. My favorite thing to do lately is to curl them forward either with pin curls or a flat/curling iron, put some pomade through it, an aim them away from the face with the ends forming a little circle at the side. It’s super pretty, and I don’t end up awkwardly shoving a pin in it halfway through my day to get it out of the damn way. It also looks fine when the rest of my hair is straight and lets me feel more properly “done.” It’s wonderful.

The Middy – By Holly Hui
I got my hair cut again by Holly Hui and this just shows why I love her and recommend her so much. Like my fire ombre?

Goth Rosary

Ok enough about hair for the moment. I just received my latest package from Goth Rosary, and I’m still nuts about them. I got Seattle Rain, Tea & Sympathy, and my fourth bottle of the always amazing Samhain. Her things smell like the things they smell like. They’re unique and don’t smell like alcohol. Tea & Sympathy is exactly what she describes – flowers, tea, and cookies. Yum. Seattle rain is fresh and clean and like an ocean storm. Come on, if you still haven’t tried this stuff you absolutely must.

Hiding Corsets

I also recently discovered Lucy’s Corsetry on Youtube. Now this is someone I can look up to. This girl is a scientist who’s been tightlacing for years, so she has not only reviews on every corset maker in town, but tons of reliable and fascinating medical information, repair tutorials, corset making tutorials, and outfits of the day. Now that my waist is about 21 inches virtually every day, getting dressed has become somewhat difficult. Nothing really fits, and when my waist shows it looks damn weird. Lucy suggests empire waisted tops, and when I tried my only empire waisted dress I wondered why I was such a moron I hadn’t tried it before. But now I’m going to need a whole lot more of these. Very wide belts are also great if you want to show a little but not everything. The wider they are the less they can fit into that tiny corner you’ve created between your ribs and hips. According to my mom this still looks freaky, but she should see what I would look like with a smaller one. So it’s still an improvement. I had also been avoiding wearing girdles over my corset to smooth over the bottom ridge and lumpiness from the lace because I figured it would just be WAY too much discomfort and effort for your average work day. Well I wore one to go out clubbing one night and it was so not a big deal I pretty much forgot I was wearing it, so don’t shy away from this one. Comment below with tips of your own!

What else to wear with your corset?

I just had a thought, and came in here to add a new update. I have a vintage black pencil skirt from the 50s, and when I put it on today over my corset I was amazed at how perfectly well it fit. No bagginess around the waist, even though I can wear it without a corset, though it’s snug if I do. My mom was surprised and asked me how I managed to get my skirt to lie so smoothly when hers always bunch up oddly when she wears her corset, and I just told her it was vintage so it was cut differently. But then I got to thinking more about that. This skirt is probably from the early to mid-50s, when the New Look was all the rage, that silhouette created by Dior of tiny waists and full hips. It was around this time that women were commonly wearing waist cinchers to accommodate the fashion, so my skirt was likely cut for a woman who would wear one, and that’s why it fits so amazingly well over a corset. So if you’re not necessarily trying to hide your corseted shape, but just want your clothes to fit already(!), I would definitely suggest buying vintage from the late 40s to early 60s. I’ve gotten my few vintage pieces from etsy, and there are a ton of other online shops out there if you find the local thrift shop way too corrupted by the 80s.

Oh wow, I really haven’t been posting much about fashion lately have I? Ok, here you go. This is the best shirt ever.