These Aliexpress Wig Ads are Pretty Funny

Even as adults, we all go through phases. And ever since my mom showed me her massive wig collection from Aliexpress, I’ve been corrupted. Hers weren’t my style at all, but when she told me how cheap they were I went on a shopping spree and still haven’t stopped. But as I sit here at 3am browsing through pages of wigs in all lengths and colors, I’m coming across some ads that are kind of funny, or just strange. Maybe it’s just that something has been lost in translation? Have a look for yourself.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 1.52.38 AMI have no idea what’s going on with that little hat. Was somebody trying to show off their mad photoshop skills?

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.21.56 AMThis Elsa wig is literally a drawing.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.32.19 AMHey I got my kids’ soccer practice right now but we should totally hook up later.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.46.48 AMIt looks like they’re trying to protect this wig’s identity. I don’t understand.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.22.45 AMSpeaking of censorship, is this mannequin’s mouth doing something we’re not supposed to see?

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.40.12 AMI can’t even guess what this mannequin’s neck is doing, but it must be filthy.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 5.05.38 AM

These pigtails are tied with dicks. For some reason.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.49.48 AMIt’s nice to finally see a shopping site acknowledging a man’s right to wear really girly hair.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 2.50.37 AMI think they need to get their eyes checked, or I do. Nevertheless, I bought this one.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.39.28 AMIf green is now pink, straight is now curly.

Screen Shot 2016-02-20 at 3.59.19 AMPro tip: Don’t buy your mom a wig labelled for “old women.”

Anyway, I haven’t been gone, I’ve just been silent. If you’ve missed me in the meantime, feel free to check out my new twitter page @TheAvaStrange. Until next time!

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How to Lose a Guy in Ten Minutes

We’ve all had that one boyfriend/girlfriend/other who irritated us to death, but that we just couldn’t bear to break up with because we felt sorry for them. What if there was an alternative – a way to get rid of him that not only doesn’t include breaking up with him, but ensures he’ll be happy to leave you? I have the perfect plan. Mix and match any of these tips to your liking for the perfect lover-repelling experience.

– Make his visits to your place extremely unpleasant. Show him some very old vacation photos and talk about your favorite gas station. Put your male pet in a dress and baby-talk to him. And make him talk back. For you. All the time. Involve him heavily in every conversation. Talk all about his favorite hobbies.

– Attempt to recruit him to help you with some very unpleasant chores. Like scrubbing under the sink. Say you’ve been trying all day but you have a bad back, could he please help? Oh what a darling he is! Oh and don’t forget to get all around the pipes. And get rid of that mysterious corpse-like smell.

-Make your dad, or any other male member of your household walk around in very tight short shorts. He shouldn’t wear a shirt and he should scratch his belly a lot.

 

Then start making all kinds of negative comments about “The Jews.” And the “homos” and the commies.

– Turn the tables on him. “Hey Lover, when are we going to get married? Maybe next month, we should elope to Hawaii. You can afford that right? Of course there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me 😉 How many kids do you want? I’m thinking 6. We will name all of them Lover Jr. I don’t think it will be confusing, because we can just say each one with a different intonation, you know? Or we could put a different symbol in front of each one, like a hashtag. Our family band is going to be amazing. Speaking of which you need to get on those music and marketing lessons, I will not have a lazy husband.”

“OMG I should tattoo your name on my eyes!!! Wouldn’t that be awesome?? And you can get MY name tattooed on YOUR eyes!! HOLY CRAP THAT WOULD BE SO ROMANTIC!! I’ll make the appointment tomorrow!!”

– “Oh and since we’re getting married I guess I should tell you now. I’m into furries. That’s ok right? I mean I participate in YOUR fetishes. I’m going to buy you a furry head as a wedding gift and you can wear it ALL THE TIME! You are the best boyfriend ever!”

 – Goth Rosary brand perfume makes gross smells. Including barf and body cheese. Wear them every time he comes over.
– This is you…
– This is household member/friend #1..
-And the rest just dress like this…
– INSIST that these people become the godparents to your 6 kids. After all somebody will need to watch them when you go on your very frequent vacations to Antarctica.
– Start serving Fancy Feast for dinner. Tell him you just learned how very healthy it is, so now you insist the two of you eat nothing else.
– Keep offering him a beverage, but wink every time you hand it to him.
-Tell him how excited you are about him joining The Last Kindred of the Forgotten Divination, which you’ve already joined.
-Tell him you feel strongly about all sexual contact being only through the use of your astral bodies.
– Pick your nose. With your fork.
-Tell him about your big plans for a career in Philosophy.
– Related to the above, tell him you don’t need an income, because you don’t like, believe in the economy. It’s just an imaginary construct of society, man.
-Tell him you absolutely adore the brilliant musical stylings of Kanye West.

26 Sexy Halloween Costmes That Shouldn’t Exist

I was going to bring you my yearly rant on “sexy” Halloween costumes today, but right now I’m in the mood to give you something a little less cranky. My subject is basically the same, but this time you get to laugh at it instead. These things are after-all pretty ridiculous. Cracked does a better job being funny than I ever could, so here I’ll send you over to an article I love, “26 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Shouldn’t Exist.”

http://www.cracked.com/article_18834_26-sexy-halloween-costumes-that-shouldnt-exist.html