I’ve often said in places where large crowds gather – Especially the Red River Ex, oh god – “this place desperately needs a spanx booth.” And really, it does. Way too many people are going around looking like giant blobs of dough. Ladies, come on. Have a little dignity. Though you have to admit, Spanx aren’t the sexiest thing in the world, despite what Tyra Banks might try to tell you. They’re just not. They’re also a little sissy if you ask me. Women these days are so afraid of being the least bit uncomfortable that they won’t wear anything that isn’t barely more effective than their usual underwear. Ladies, grow a pair. A real girdle is very sexy, and not at all uncomfortable.

I’m so grateful I discovered Rago at the lingerie booth at Viva. I had known for a few years from various internet sites geared towards vintage and pinup culture that it was the best. So I really wanted to try them out. What I found was a special-for-viva-edition red and black girdle and bra set. Normally this model only comes in pink and black. I also found Doris Mayday, who made me look like a 12 year old boy standing next to her. Sigh. She swears by Rago too. And Angela and I were so pleased with what we tried on that we each got matching girdles. I picked up the matching bra too.

I’m going to go ahead and start with the bra. I wanted something that wasn’t a bullet bra, but not round like a grapefruit either. This bra has no padding, but is simply cut to look natural. It’s red satin with black lace, and has a wide band with no underwire. This thing is comfortable as hell. It’s fantastic, by far the most comfortable bra I own. Mike loves it too because there’s no padding in the way of real human boob. He also just likes anything different. I also want to mention that the band is wide enough not to give you back fat. It’s just great.

We tried both zip-up and roll-on girdles, and honestly one was not easier to put on than the other. They both required a bit of effort. So we went for the roll-on version because if they’re going to be the same you might as well not have a zipper to potentially dig into your hip. (For the record, my vintage zip-up girdle does not have this problem. I was just trying to make the best choice of two equal girdles.) This girdle is beautiful, comfortable, effective, and even lifts and firms your butt. And did I mention it’s red and black lace? I mean come on. The only issue I could find is that without stockings to hold it down by the garters, it tends to ride up when you sit. Angela and I were forever trying to tug our girdles down in various airports on the trip back home. In non-traveling real life, this is not that big a deal.

But please, if you do have stockings to wear with this, do. It’s just glamorous as fuck. And isn’t it nice to look sexy without wearing a pushup under-wire and a thong? You don’t actually feel sexy in that. I know you don’t, because I don’t either. This on the other hand is perfect for daily life, which means seduction starts way before the bedroom. And you’ll look hot all day instead of like a big lump of dough. Meow!

The Art of Seduction, done right.

Vargas Girdle Review

So at the time of this writing (ok, ages ago) I just got my Vargas Girdle from Kiss Me Deadly in the mail, and as we all know how much I love lingerie, I thought I really should write a review for you all. Especially considering girdles have become so uncommon these days, the information could prove to be extra useful.
It took six weeks to get this, because at the time of my purchase it was out of stock. My initial reaction is to be a little mad at Fairy Goth Mother for not indicating this on their site, however this was quickly rectified with emails explaining the fact, and some very quick replies. And it came in exactly the amount of time they said it would, so that doesn’t leave much to complain about for the service.

The first thing I should mention is how nice it is when a product looks the same in person as it does in the ads. This is one of those products. There are some very minor flaws, so minor that I didn’t notice them in the pictures, but upon further inspection they were there. I’ll get to that a little bit later.
The girdle is indeed lovely. Mike doesn’t care half as much about my clothes as what’s under them, but I think I got a decent reaction. He seemed to like it, and I was very pleased with it too. It’s vintage and modern at the same time, so I get the look I’m going for without going so far in that direction that I feel like an old lady. It’s a very young and sexy look compared to the average person’s impression of what a girdle is. The only minor things I noticed, that can hardly be helped as far as I can tell, are that the back scrunches down a little, and can create a bit of a bumpy look under the back of your clothes. Also the bottom back edge of the girdle slightly cuts into the rear for a bit of an odd silhouette, but only when you look closely. And just as they say, the bows do flatten will under clothes, but if you’re wearing something a little less forgiving, they’re easily removed. As far as the garters showing through your clothes, I think this is more a good thing than bad. A little hint of the sexy secret you’re hiding isn’t something I can see too many people complaining about, unless of course you’re at work.

It’s also WAY more comfortable than girdles seem to have a reputation for. Yes, it is a little bit scratchy at the garters and a bit of the side seams, but barely. It’s hardly worth mentioning when you compare it to your average ill-fitting bra or pair of high heels.
The effectiveness of the Vargas Girdle is where I find it falls the most short, and unfortunately this is the most important part, otherwise what are you buying it for? I suppose I’m satisfied with the waist shaping, though slight, because it’s pretty much impossible to find something that does this at all besides a corset. Waist-high Spanx will nip you in slightly too, in much the same way, but let’s be honest, they’re not sexy. The Vargas girdle is. So I guess I can’t fairly ask for much more. The tummy shaping, well… honestly I didn’t see too much flattening at all. Since I was able to hook it up on the smallest set of hooks, and you’re supposed to wear a new bra on the loosest ones, I’m left wondering if maybe it’s just slightly too big. Vanity sizing maybe? That’s a subject for another article. But as it stands, they don’t have these in XS, so this is the best I’m going to do. In the meantime I sewed in an extra front panel of non-stretch black satin, and did see a slight improvement.
So I am satisfied with the Vargas Girdle, but I wouldn’t say I’m completely over the moon about it. I have heard better reviews from other women so I think it’s fair to say that your results will have quite a bit to do with your individual body shape. It’s true that Kiss Me Deadly makes their lingerie for pear-shaped women because this is the most common shape, while I myself am hourglass. If this is why I’m failing to see results as good as the other women who have used this, it’s certainly through no fault of a company that knows their market. If anything, it leaves me excited to try out more styles.