Starting to Dress Like a Man (for FTMs)

Long time no see, Strangers! Where have I been? Well, I ran out of girl stuff to write about so I decided to transition to male.

Just kidding, I’m transitioning for different reasons. Because I literally am male. Surprise! I know, I didn’t believe it either.

But that doesn’t mean I still don’t love fashion. And this new adventure in wardrobe has been a new challenge. More-so because information on creating a men’s wardrobe from the ground up as an adult with a feminine body shape is just not something normally covered by men’s fashion videos and blogs. I literally emailed Real Men Real Style for tips and received NO response at all. Guess I’m on my own then. But that doesn’t mean you have to be. Just call me your fairy godfather.

Let me get this first bit out of the way. Don’t dress in nothing but oversized hoodies and jerseys because you don’t know what you’re doing and you’re trying to hide your shape. It’s not attractive and you’re more likely to look like a lesbian, which you are not, if you’re reading this. Probably. Or you can ignore me. But it’s doing you no favors. You just look sloppy. As intimidating as it can be as a first timer, immerse yourself in men’s fashion information in general. I know how overwhelming it can be because as you may know, I grew up reading Esquire instead of Cosmo and it’s still a lot to take in. But don’t worry yourself too much about fussy details. Just look around. See what you like. See what kind of man you want to look like. Experiment.

This brings me to my first big Do. Start cheap. Because you’re still experimenting, there’s likely to be a lot of stuff you try and decide isn’t for you. You don’t want to spend a lot of money in this stage. My first big round of shopping happened at Value Village. Now, this meant it was not only cheap, but for casual-wear I still actually really love pretty much everything I got. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be out a lot of money. And if I change my mind about any of it I can just donate it right back.

Speaking of cheap, another amazing place to go is online, mainly Aliexpress and Wish. Because not only are these places affordable but they’re Asian. Why does this matter? Because you’re probably relatively small for a dude, and Asian clothes run smaller. This means you don’t have to shop in the boys section. I mean you can, but it’s probably going to be a lot of dinosaur tshirts and we’re trying to dress like men here, right? Right.

Now it’s generally assumed that clothing from sites like this are crap. That’s not necessarily wrong – they definitely can be. The key here is to read reviews, especially ones with customer photos. Lots of reviews. Check size charts over and over. Check return policies. Besides, if there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout all of this it’s that men’s clothes are of much better quality than women’s. A lot better. So you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised. And you know what? I’ve only very rarely bought something that didn’t work out. My new wardrobe is amazing.

Now, pants are the devil for us, aren’t they? Goddamn hips IjusthatethemsomuchI’mgoingtositinthisdressingroomandcryfortherestoftheday. Or nah. Because what works is going up one size and/or getting something with stretch. I’m not talking about leggings or sweats or other generally fugly things. I mean real nice dress pants and slim fit jeans. They can have stretch. And it’s wonderful. I fucking love my new $12 pants.

Another thing that’s going to show off your hips is tucking in your shirt. But I mean, don’t you have to? If you’re wearing business or formal-wear that is. If you don’t it looks sloppy. True. BUT the best hack for this is a vest/waistcoat. It covers your middle, makes you look nice and trim, disguises your hips, disguises your chest/binder, and looks dapper AF. It can also be worn as a cheaper alternative to a jacket, because getting a really nice one that fits well is hard. And you’ll end up looking better than your boss. Hell yes my dudes. Get a few of them to go with any shirt/pants combo. Get a few ties too. Ties are nice. If your tie is too long, you can tuck the excess into your shirt, and the vest will cover that up too!

Hell yes

 

If you wear lifts, consider ordering your shoes a size up to make room for them. That’s all I got to say about shoes at the moment.

Mini tip #2, accessorize higher up on your body to draw the eye up and help you look taller. Think hats, ties, and pocket squares. Suspenders for their vertical-ness over belts with their horizontal-ness. Definitely not belts in contrasting colors, that visually cut you in half and therefor make you look shorter. And monochromatic color schemes are good. Epaulets are very good. Shoulder pads… still pretty 80s.

Aaaand last thing I got for now, and I know this is repetition, is to make sure your clothes FIT. You’ve been going baggy to hide your curves but honey no. Just no. A well dressed man wears clothes that fit. It looks put-together, confident, and shows off your new muscles. niiiiiice. Those tips I gave above will help with the curves. If you take nothing else away from this article it’s that your clothes should fit.

That’s all I got for now. Maybe I’ll be back later with shaving tips or something 😛

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Big Boob Fakery and my first attempt at Youtube

You may remember a post I wrote a long time ago called Big Boob Fakery. Well… everything I wrote was a long time ago. So I figured it was time to freshen up my approach. I just made my first youtube video, a video version of Big Boob Fakery, and it’s hilarious in it’s amateurishness. Here’s to learning and growing and trying new things!

Coming Out Showers

I think coming out showers for trans people should be a thing.

Think about it. Cis people routinely have wedding showers and bar/bat mitzvahs. Trans people don’t always have these opportunities, at least not for their true genders. But what better way to show support and welcome them into the community of that true gender? These could be a rite of passage complete with gifts to help set them up for this new phase of their lives.

Now of course I need to stress here that not everyone will WANT a shower. And that should absolutely be respected. But for those that do want one, I can’t think of a more supportive and meaningful single gesture.

There should be cards too. Like “It’s a girl/boy/non-binary person!” but referring to someone who is not a baby. Happy things, because a person making the decision to live their lives as their true selves is something to be celebrated just as much as those other things we throw showers for.

Let’s spread the word and make this a thing for those who want it. Let’s celebrate people’s identities and welcome them into our communities as the people they are and help get them set up. Share this article if you agree!

A tiny little post about binders

I’ve always made a habit of writing things as I learn them, to share beginner-friendly tips and tricks. But since I’ve been distracted, idea-less, and therefor silent for a while, I realized while going through some old posts that there’s probably some stuff I forgot to tell you about. Maybe this isn’t enough for a full-length post, but please comment below if you want to see anything else here and I’ll add to it.

Ok, so, binders. Yes, since the creation of this blog I have done quite a bit towards figuring myself out. I’m still fem as fuck, but a binder was in order. I’ve learned a precious few little things about them that suit me quite well, and that you might find helpful.

  1. You won’t be flat. Just MORE flat. Guess what, dudes aren’t usually totally flat either. So just suck it up, you’re fine.
  2. There is a serious lack of pretty binders. Bitch, trans-masc people can also like pretty things, and there are even some (both cis and trans) women who bind, too! Maybe one day I’ll be able to do something about it. Ok, that wasn’t super helpful…
  3. Speaking of #1, you probably won’t be too happy with your shape in a binder alone. This is discouraging, I know. The trick here is to distract the eye. Thankfully, this isn’t hard to do at all. Just some kind of looser or random lines around the area do the trick. Not wearing a form-fitting tshirt is pretty key here. Any clothes that are looser will look just fine.
  4. I personally prefer full-length tank styles over half styles. They don’t look like bras, they can also compress your hips, and you can wear them exposed. I like mine with this sweater or an open button-down. In both outfits I’ve been asked what my binder looked like. When I told them they were looking at it, they were surprised. Success!
  5. Yes, they can be hot. But see above for help with that. It really doesn’t need to be that much of an extra layer if you treat it more like a shirt in itself.

That’s all I got for now. It’s not a lot, but it’s been a pretty big deal towards helping me deal with trying to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin. Hopefully this post is a sign of more to come.

Pictured: resting sad face concealing a fair amount of happiness.